Adult Play

“Someone is going to get hurt.”

Ignoring my wife, I continued to wrestle with the kids.

“Can you just grow up already?” 

Before I could respond, Lexy karate kicked me in the leg. CJ then jumped on my head.

I sank to the floor.

“Why would I want to grow up? I’m having too much fun,” I said writhing in pain.

Despite the beating, I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen I’d love to be a kid again. It’s the greatest gig on the planet. No work, no stress, summer vacations, video games, and play dates.

Speaking of play dates, this may be the best part of being a kid. Who doesn’t want a day of playing cars and dinosaurs, wrestling, trashing the house, and eating everything in sight? If it meant avoiding work, I’d do it myself.

I’d have no problem playing Lincoln Logs and Power Rangers. Sure, I’d have to avoid the macaroni and cheese—as I’m lactose intolerant— and might substitute beer for juice boxes, but I’m certainly game. Heck, I’d even play dolls (when no one’s looking).

In fact, I think men should have play dates. There are bromances and man crushes and guys getting manicures. Why not guy play dates? And let’s not exclude women from this. Men and women are already doing this. Most men already have an occasional night out with the guys and the same for women. Why not make it official?

If you’re invited to a dinner or event that you really don’t want to attend, you have a built-in excuse.

“Sorry, Bill. I can’t make it. I have a play date with Fred.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah—we’ve had this planned this for weeks. We’re going to play guitar hero, share stock tips, drink a few beers, and mess up his house. Fred’s Mom’s picking me up.”

“Isn’t she like… 85?”

My wife could also benefit from my play dates. The next time she’s asked to volunteer at school, she can say she has no one to watch the kids as I’m on a play date. Of course, it always comes at a price.

“I had to tell them you were on a play date. I sounded like a complete fool.” 

“You got out of volunteering, right? We both win.”

“Wrong—I have to volunteer next week instead.” Her angry gaze fixed upon me.

“If you get a play date, I get a bag. And you’re watching the kids.”

Touché.

In the end, I’d lose again. However, it would be worth it to be a kid again even if only for a few hours. Until then, I’m investing in body armor and living vicariously through the kids.

Copyright © 2009, Brad Manzo

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1 Comment

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One response to “Adult Play

  1. Brad,
    You better be careful. Do you know that book, “Hop on Pop?” Well, let me tell you, they get bigger and it really starts to hurt. I had to stop the attacks since, two against one in a kid fight against dad…means you will be sacked…and your wife will get you too for playing rough. Go figure.
    Thanks for the article.

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