I prefer my reunions in cyberspace where there are no awkward moments. I can choose just the right words and when I want to respond. If I so choose, I can even attend my cyberspace reunion in my underwear. Not that there’s anything wrong with seeing an old friend face to face, but honestly, what do you say to someone you haven’t seen in 10 or 15 years since before you were married?
“Hey Jim, are you still playing quarters till you puke and eating food you found on barroom floors?”
So much has changed. I barely drink and I now have kids to eat food off of the floor. I’ve also done things since becoming a parent I never in my wildest dreams imagined I’d ever do.
I took a whiff of CJ’s diaper then looked for confirmation. “Smell his butt. He pooped, right?”
I shoved his butt into the face of my other family members, who, amazingly, smelled his butt and offered an opinion without the slightest protest.
I’m not going to divulge that story at a reunion, but as a proud father I’d certainly talk about my kids.
“Check these out,” I’d say while showing pictures from my cell phone. “Here’s my son playing baseball and running the wrong way after hitting the ball. He takes after me.”
Then, of course, I’d bring the conversation back to an always comfortable topic for guys—sports.
“How about that Super Bowl?”
Ironically, after discussing the amazing feats of pro athletes, we’d end up comparing I can’t believe how old I’m getting stories.
“The other day I threw my back out opening a jar of pickles.”
“You think that’s bad, my wife found a gray hair growing in my ear.” I paused. “I hurt myself trying to remove it.”
But, much to my surprise, this summer I had a family reunion and a get-together with an old friend and both went smoothly. In fact, with the help of a few beers, there were no awkward moments. I’d even go as far as recommending everyone going out and re-connecting with old friends, acquaintances, and family, in person.
First, it’s potentially a great way to boost your ego. You may be graying and past your prime, but if your friend or cousin is now bald and fat, you feel like a million bucks.
Second, it’s great to know that there are other people whose lives are as boring as yours. Finally, you have someone else who can relate to your constant cries of “I can’t remember the last time I went to the movies or out to dinner.”
But most of all it’s a night out to just reminisce and talk about the old times. And it sure beats a cyberspace reunion in your underwear.
Copyright © 2010, Brad Manzo